Donovan McNabb Update: “Teams Totally Want Me” And Other Crazy Things

Sad Donovan is still sad and unemployed

Donovan McNabb is still looking for a team. After being traded away from Philadelphia, where he was a perennial Pro-Bowler and NFC Championship Game participant, McNabb has fallen off a cliff as far as production goes. In 2010 with Washington, McNabb was benched twice in favor of Rex Grossman. Yes, that Rex Grossman. The Redskins finished 6-10 and Donovan was shown the door via trade to Minnesota where he gladly told anyone who would listen that coach Mike Shanahan “misused” him, which is true: Shanahan kept asking him to complete passes.

Things in Minnesota didn’t go much better for Donovan. After going 1-5 to start his Viking tenure, and with the offense struggling to find any rhythm, McNabb was benched again in favor of rookie Christian Ponder. Donovan would glumly pout on the sidelines for a few weeks before asking for his release, thinking that he could sign on as a free agent with a team that really wanted him. Well, the Vikings gave Donovan what he wanted, and nobody called Donovan in, so he sat at home and watched the end of last season, likely staring at his phone just waiting for the call. Well, this year: ‘THEY ARE TOTALLY GONNA CALL!’ says Donovan.

From ESPN.com:

“I do want to play,” McNabb told “NBC SportsTalk” on Thursday. “The most important thing is I have about three teams I’m looking at. … We won’t name those three teams.”

“Yeah, we won’t name them. You probabaly don’t even know them. They live in Canada.” Is it just me or does Donovan sound like the guy in movies who can’t get a girlfriend who lies about having a girlfriend that lives out of town?

But Donovan, if they’re so interested in you, why haven’t they signed you?

“I think teams are evaluating what they have. They are looking at their young quarterbacks, their backup situation. Obviously their starters they feel very confident in, but if things were to go wrong in training camp or maybe the competition isn’t where they need it to be, they would obviously pick up the phone and call,” he told “NBC SportsTalk.

“Well, yeah, sure, I’m not as good as anyone already on a roster, but if something horrific happens to their starter, or some rookie shows up to training camp with just one arm…then my phone will be buzzing.” Talking yourself up as the best option in the worst case scenario…Donovan McNabb has that market cornered.

Donovan has said he is most interested in teams that have a “solid running game, weapons on the outside, a defense that’s been playing well and playing well together, and that’s ready to win right now.” In short, a team that has absolutely no need for the services of Donovan McNabb. As the season creeps closer and closer, Donovan will likely pare down his list of requirements to “willing to pay me money” as the only thing he’s looking for in a team.

McNabb holds out hope eternal, though. And to those people thinking Donovan has lost it (i.e. everyone) and has hurt his shot at the Hall of Fame:

“Even these last two years, when people may look at it and say, ‘Oh, he’s done, or whatever.’ I’m 34, 35 years old, but still, I played at the pinnacle, I played at the highest level of my career. I played there,” McNabb told Fox Sports. “And I would vote for myself for the Hall of Fame.”

Yeah, Donovan McNabb was there when Donovan McNabb was still good, so he should know. And if the Hall decides to give Donovan a HOF vote, he wouldn’t hesitate to vote for himself. Of course, Donovan also wouldn’t hesitate to put himself in as a starting quarterback on a team that’s “ready to win now,” so maybe he isn’t the best judge of these things.

The only way that Donovan McNabb makes a roster this year or any year in the future is if he takes the Mark Brunell career track. Accept the fact that you’re no longer a starter, sign on to be a backup, and lurk in the back of team meetings on the sidelines for the next 10-15 years. Either that, or retire and back into shilling for Chunky’s Soup full-time. That’s really where his HOF work happened, anyways.

(pic via)