Floyd Mayweather Isn’t Enjoying Prison Food, Would Like To Be Released Now

“No filet mignon?!? Worst. Prison. Ever.”

Floyd Mayweather pleaded guilty to domestic battery charges and was sentenced to three months in prison. He was allowed to stay free long enough to make one last fight over Cinco De Mayo weekend, but then turned himself in to begin his sentence. Well, just ten days into that sentence, Mayweather’s legal team is trying to get him out, filing an emergency motion on Monday asking that the court allow Money to move to house-arrest or into the general jail population because they are concerned he’s getting out of shape and won’t ever fight again. Mayweather’s person physician, Dr. Robert Voy, who is likely the most impartial person to ask about this situation, is gravely concerned…about continuing to stay on the Money payroll.

From ESPN.com:

“I am concerned about Floyd withdrawing, developing anger he cannot dissipate through the usual means of dedicated exercise and training,” Voy wrote in an affidavit. “Boxing has been Mr. Mayweather’s life since he was a young man and we need champions of this type to continue to their natural retirement and hopefully their contributions to society thereafter.”

Not to nitpick, doctor, but isn’t Floyd’s inability to dissipate his anger through the usual means of exercise and training the whole reason he’s in here in the first place? You know, because he beat up his girlfriend while his kids watched? If you’re worried about him “developing” that kind of anger, you might be a bit behind the times with your diagnosis.

Mayweather’s legal team is concerned that Money may never be able to fight again if he’s forced to stay in these conditions. Their main concerns include: the food, the water, and the gym. Right now, according to Mayweather’s doctor, the fighter is taking in less than 800 calories a day instead of his usual 3,000 to 4,000. Why isn’t he eating? Well, because the food is icky, and they won’t make him what he wants. As for the water, Mayweather’s refuses to drink it because it is tap water, which he dislikes the taste of and the prison has refused to provide him with bottled water. Floyd sounds like he’d adapt real well if trapped on a desert island.

Thankfully, the justice system has refused to bend to the rantings and ravings of a 35-year old man acting like an 7-year old who doesn’t want to eat his vegetables. The court summarily denied the motion, reminding Mayweather’s counsel that he was in fact in jail and not on a spa vacation at the Four Seasons. Those guys with the mace? Not concierges, but actually prison guards. Surprising, I know. If you don’t want to starve, eat the food provided. If you don’t want to dehydrate yourself and die, drink the sink water. Prison’s all about making sacrifices.

So after just ten days, Mayweather has begun to refuse food and water because they are beneath him and not up to the caliber of food and drink he’s become accustomed to as one of the richest boxers in history. You have to wonder what kind of a sell-job his yes-men did to get him to believe prison was going to be so enjoyable, like a parent telling their kids about that farm up-state that Fido went to when really he’s just dead.

Now that Mayweather’s motion to be moved on the grounds that the food is “icky” has been denied, Money has begun to escalate his case. This morning he began kicking and punching the floor while screaming in a tantrum. If that doesn’t work, Mayweather’s legal team says he is prepared to hold his breath until he gets his way. “That’ll show them!” says first-graders everywhere.

(pic via)