Roy Hibbert Just Wants To Be On ‘Parks And Rec’ Again
The Indiana Pacers were one of the surprise teams in the Eastern Conference this season. They made the playoffs, advanced past the first round for the first time in seven years, and even held a 2-1 advantage over the Miami Heat before losing three straight to get bounced from the playoffs, far exceeding any expectations people had for this squad. One of the main reasons for their unexpected success has been their emerging All-Star, and former Entertainment 720 employee, at center, Roy Hibbert. At just 25-years old, Hibbert set career highs in points and rebounds this season while also getting selected to his first All-Star game, which is all good news…except Hibbert is going to be a restricted free agent July 1, and his stock probably won’t ever be higher. What chance does Indiana have to keep their star big man?
If it’s up to Hibbert, maybe a pretty good one. From ESPN.com:
“I want to make sure that everyone knows I love Indiana,” he said.
There you go, the kid loves Indiana! And why wouldn’t he? The Pacers have a strong nucleus built up around him, and the team will have around $21 million under the cap to spend, but Hibbert is just one of six free agents that the Pacers will try and retain this off-season, and nobody is sure how much of that available money Hibbert will take up.
As a restricted free agent, the Pacers will get the opportunity to match any offer another team makes to the young center, but will they be willing to go toe-to-toe with a big market team offering a max deal? I mean, the market for a 7-2 budding star is pretty much always booming. But Hibbert loves Indiana, so surely he’ll give them a hometown discount so he can stay close to…well, Indianapolis is the epicenter of…he can get to do more guest spots on Parks and Rec!!
Yeah, that’s the selling point, Parks and Rec, the delightfully hilarious NBC sitcom set in Pawnee, Indiana, which frequently uses Indiana Pacers in their show. In fact, Roy Hibbert’s two appearances is second in Pacers history for Parks and Rec appearances, behind only Detlef Schrempf, who has three. If Hibbert sticks around Indiana, he has a pretty good shot at breaking that mark.
So here’s what the Pacers need to do: take the negotiations down to the Snakehole Lounge, have Tom Haverford whip up some chicky chicky parm parm, let Jean-Ralphio DJ and drop some mad rhymes that go on just one word too long and let the Snakejuice flow like water. Before you know it, Hibbert’s agent will be paying the Pacers to let his client stay in the VIP section of that party. Or alcohol poisoning. Snakejuice is literally poison.
The Pacers success or failure next season rests largely on how effectively they can keep this current team together with Hibbert at its core. If they fail and Hibbert ends up in the bright lights of some big city on one of the NBA’s big-market teams, expect a scathing character assassination from Leslie Knope and Entertainment 720 demanding the return of ALL swag. Because hell hath no fury like a fictional Pacers fan scorned.