Miami will make a mint selling official shame bags to their fans
Hard Knocks has becomes wildly successful for HBO as they give fans an inside look at a team as they go through their preseason schedule. They’ve given fans a compelling, and often hilarious, look into the inner workings of professional football. No season was as interesting, or unintentionally hilarious, as last year’s Hard Knocks as they went into the New York Jets locker room, laying the Jets’ crazy laundry out for the world to see.
There was Rex Ryan’s potty mouth, Antonio Cromartie’s inability to name off all his children (in his defense he had 10 [UPDATE: he's up to 12]), and a general sense of delusion and discord that permeated the club, earning them a reputation as a “circus” which many people pointed to as the reason for their late-season collapse (the other reason: Mark Sanchez throwing like one of his high school girlfriends). So who will follow that freak show of a preseason reality show? Almost nobody. But even worse…almost Jacksonville.
“Ha haaa, Tedy made a funny”
It’s time once again to check in with our Adventures in Trolling series, which examines the very best trolls the sports world can offer. Today, we go to the Monolith, ESPN, who conducted a survey to see what NFL team was the most popular among American sports fans. The list was pretty predictable, with the Packers, Patriots, and Saints all ranking pretty high, but the team in the top spot was a bit surprising. The Dallas Cowboys ranked number one among NFL fans, somehow holding on to their “America’s team” nickname despite winning one playoff game since 1994. Former Patriot linebacker, current ESPN analyst, and forever Patriot homer Tedy Bruschi has some thoughts on that.
The ONLY time Tebowing is clever or funny
Internet memes are a crazy thing. Nothing sweeps people up into doing something ridiculous like telling them it’s a meme. I mean, seriously, “owling”? That was just a conspiracy by people too lazy to lay down on their stomachs for planking, which was just started by super lazy people who wanted to lay down. One of the memes that has enjoyed some longevity has been “Tebowing,” started by Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow during his run of miracle wins with the Denver Broncos.
It was all the rage, exploding across the internet as people took pictures in the iconic pose all across the globe, and with the news that it will be in the next Madden game, chances are people who don’t understand what “topical” or “shelf-life” means will be continuing to drop down to one knee thinking they’re pretty darn cool. Well, thankfully one high school in Florida is taking a stand against it and letting the youth of America, “Hey, stop that. You look dumb.”
¿Cómo salir de Cincinnati?
The Cincinnati Reds have come on over the last couple of seasons as legitimate contenders in the National League Central. Part of the reason is the acquisition of their fireball throwing Cuban defector, Aroldis Chapman. The young reliever routinely hits the triple digits with his fastball and has been a nightmare for opposing hitters. This season he has yet to give up a run, and has Reds fans wondering if he could make the transition to starter and be the ace of their staff. Manager Dusty Baker has said that Chapman will be a starter “someday,” but for now is satisfied having him close out games with authority. Besides, Chapman still has a lot of things to learn about this country and being a big league pitcher, like basic motor vehicle laws, for example.
Tide Tea-Bagger Takes It On The Chin In Court
You do NOT want to know how far down that paint goes
Fandom can be a crazy thing. It drives normally regular folks to do some crazy things all in the name of supporting “their” team. No sport has quite the devoted nutjobs like college football, and nowhere crazier about their football than the south, and no place is more “South” than Alabama. They have an army of “Roll Tide” bumper stickers ready to bear down on any location in the country each and every Saturday. So it was no surprise that their enthusiastic fans were pretty excited when they beat their SEC East rival LSU Tigers in the National Championship game this last season, capturing yet another NC for head coach Nick Saban and really staking Alabama’s claim as the elite of the elite programs in all of college football. But for one Tide fan, his overly enthusiastic celebration over a defeated LSU supporter is getting him in more trouble than he bargained for.
“This Ron Artest guy is craaaazy.” -Metta World Peace
At the end of the regular season, Ron Artest Metta World Peace was involved in a nasty altercation with 6th man of the year award winner James Harden of the Oklahoma City Thunder. During the April 22 game between the Lakers and Thunder, World Peace delivered a decidedly unpeaceful elbow to the side of Harden’s head while celebrating a big dunk. The shot gave Harden a concussion and earned Metta a seven game suspension that held him out of six of the Lakers first seven games in the playoffs. He’s back with the team now, and the Lakers are matched up with the Thunder in the second round of the NBA playoffs, which is a little bit aaaaawkward since Metta hasn’t technically even apologized (because he doesn’t fraternize with opponents and won’t “shake the backups hands”) to Harden for the vicious elbow. Well, nothing says your sorry like a thoughtful gift…like a power forward.
IN THE FAAACE
The New Jersey Devils were a hot pick to make a deep run in the NHL Playoffs as the sixth seed in the East. They have not disappointed, defeating the Florida Panthers in seven games during round one, and then man-handling the Philadelphia Flyers in the second round to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals agasinst the top-seeded New York Rangers, where things have gotten a little more difficult. In Game 1, the Rangers got unleashed in the third period, scoring three goals against aged netminder Martin Brodeur to break open a 0-0 tie for a 3-0 win. The Devils were completely unable to mount any offense against the Rangers and Henrik Lundqvist, as the Blueshirts defenders actually blocked more shots (26) than got through to net (21). That was frustrating for Brodeur to watch, so he came up with some outside the box strategies to turn things around in Game 2.
